Not Where I Should Be

I write now not sheltered by a tent in the middle of France, but from my brother’s apartment back in the United States. I flew home two days ago and have put an end to my pilgrimage until next summer. The reason for my early departure is related to my ankle (amongst other things), but sometimes I wonder if I made the right decision.

I have no desire to get caught in the details because everything feels divided. The life that I am now inside of is nothing like the life that I enmeshed myself in for about three weeks, and I feel that I prefer the world of struggle rather than this. I feel that there is a numbness that settles in when caught in constant comfort and I do not like this numbness. My body in constant movement and seeing new faces and new places everyday expanded my interior world so now I have become pregnant with so many new possibilities. I want to stay like this, I want to remain as I am because I do not want to forget so easily everything that I have learned whilst away. 

This is just a passing note with more to follow: there is much I must do now that I am “home.”

Until other things have been dealt with,

J.

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