To be in France and to be in the World

France has opened herself up to me and I can see the ever reaching land now. The second day of walking in France, now two days ago, was the hardest day of walking yet. I swore at the country of France because it felt impossible. The sheer insanity of this journey had never felt so apparent standing at the top of a hill. I am doing much better now and I feel much stronger than I have before. I have my little yellow pilgrim pointing me in the right direction and he brings me comfort. I think I have begun to fall in love with my little yellow pilgrim on the signpost if only because I know I would be lost without him.

We have been camping for the most part, but last night we stayed in the Abbaye Notre Dame which is in Wisques. Mon soeur Lucie was an exceptional host and she had such a radiant smile. When we arrived at the abbaye she was waiting by the window for us and we all shared laughter and smiles because after another long day we had finally made it. Finally. I had never known the joy of sitting down in a cushioned chair after several long days of walking before. I am in awe and I cannot properly express the extent of both my gratitude and sheer happiness for this pilgrimage.

It is incredibly beautiful here. Everywhere I turn I feel as if I am standing in a van Gogh painting and being surrounded by this beauty brings me a little bit closer to my desire to be a painting (to be anything beautiful and to be part of something that transcends this physical world). I am in this world and I am part of something that I cannot imagine and walking through France has made this more and more apparent. Despite my inability to speak French I am still able to understand a fair amount and at breakfast this morning I was able to enjoy the conversation between the other guests of the abbaye. They were discussing the recent terror that happened in Germany and the state of the world currently. Today my heart feels exceptionally heavy as I walk, and these tears are a mixture of both heart pain and joy.
The glasses that I wear are rose tinted and so the world has beauty to it, a glow, that I feel is fitting for this journey. I appreciate every moment because this is an experience I am blessed/lucky (however you care to think of it) to be here right now.

But why do I think I am on this pilgrimage? It feels like a scene in a film that you do not understand, a scene that you feel is unnecessary to what is happening at large. But these scenes almost seem to be haunting the directors. These seemingly superfluous scense capture a moment in their life when they saw something and to this day still do not understand what they saw. I feel as if I am trying to understand the various scenes of my own life that still linger but have yet to be understood. I have no more time to explain, we must get moving.

Until I can write again,

J.

Also, a shout-out to fellow pilgrim and blogger, Devon. We met at Abbaye Notre Dame. Follow her around for three months as well : here

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